Sprained Ankle and Patience

It’s a shame that the capacity of mental will sometimes doesn’t match the threshold of our physical will. I felt this, more-so from a physical standpoint, last Monday when I woke up to go to school and my ankles were swollen and my toes nearly unable to move. As thrilling as it was to have fought valiantly through 3 hours of kickboxing the previous Saturday, waking up 2 days later with aching joints was chilling. Not because it was painful, no, it was something I could tolerate, but because of the barrier it was sure to put between me and my new love, Muay Thai.

I hobbled through Monday, limped through Tuesday and cringed through Wednesday until finally one of the Thai teachers in my office inquired about my slow moving. Reluctantly, I told them the story of perhaps my overzealous 3 hours of kickboxing, and before I could shuffle to my desk, they had pulled a student from her class and were mumbling instructions to her in Thai. I will never grow immune to the compassionate and care-taking nature of these kind people. They had made me an appointment for that very evening with an English speaking orthopedic doctor in the city.  Knowing full well that my problem was overuse, ill preparation and a probable sprain, I didn’t really feel the need for an appointment, but the ladies insisted.

Sitting in the “waiting room” of the doctor’s office, which was a hole in the wall exposed to the swarming traffic nearby, I couldn’t help but feel two opposing thoughts. One was appreciation. That I was (and will for the duration of my stay) be taken care of and gratefully, I would be on my way to recovery with a little rest. The other feeling was that of complete frustration with myself. At that very moment, I knew Kelsey was working her ass off in that ring, and I sat waiting to the prognosis of what inherently was my own stupidity. I stay motionless as the Doctor prodded around on my left ankle and made a quick diagnoses of “sprain,” saying that Muay Thai was definitely not for women. Little did he know, this prescription for quitting has only spurred me forward.

My lovely teacher, Kru Kanika, then took me to the Hospital pharmacy for a brace and topical pain reliever. I sheepishly rode around in a wheelchair upon her insistence, gathered my recovery necessities and was out the door in no time. 

“It’s my pleasure. I am glad to make you convenient and happy, Jade,” were the words from dear Kanika as she sat and waited with me. Nothing warmed my frustrated heart more.

Back at the apartment that night, my ankle in a brace and propped on a pillow, I couldn’t hide my disappointment any longer. I broke down in tears to Kelsey, telling her how I’d obsessively canvased the internet over the past several days for my prognosis, how I’d worried our trainer would think me weak, how I was stupid for not preparing myself for such traumatic exercise, how I felt I would lose the ground I’d gained. Sympathy was what I thought I needed, but she new better, quickly rebuking me for blaming myself and saying that I needed to hush. So with renewed motivation and a different plan of attack, I am resting for 3 weeks.

We worked an English camp at a Technical College this past weekend, and although I moved around and was active much more than I should’ve been, the weekend was worth it. Playing intense versions of Red Rover with 20 year old boys is no easy task. But, as if God-sent, my school is testing this week (my 2nd week of no activity) and they are allowing me to sit out for the duration since only the Thai teachers can administer tests.

I have a much more positive outlook than I did the day I was Googling torn tendons and sitting in a rudimentary doctor’s office. At least on the weekends we are able to watch local Muay Thai fighting so I can get my fix. We’ve been such faithful followers of the local fights that the announcers announce our arrival, and we are graciously ushered ringside, or the splash zone as I like to call it, where one is at risk of being sprinkled with water, sweat and blood. Better than high definition television any day! 

I’m most often a patient person with everyone besides myself, but when it comes to exercising personal patience, I am my harshest critic. But I’m determined to prove myself wrong.